Archive for the ‘Family Life’ Category
“Hello Lisa”
“Oh hey girl…what’s up?”
“Did Natalie go to CLSC today?”
“No, she didn’t have classes today…why…what’s up?”
“Tayair…he left the house this morning at 7:00 am and it’s almost 10 pm. He’s not answering his phone or responding to his text messages. His father left to check the parking lot at his job….”
My mind was racing a mile per minute and the only thoughts in my head were negative which directed me to this question…
Would you chip your kid?
Granted, my son is no longer a kid, he’s 23 years old , but he’s also intellectually disabled, but even if he wasn’t – I still would have been beside myself the night he didn’t come home after being out all day without a call or response to a text message.
Thankfully, the story ended well but it started me wondering, would I have chipped him when he was a kid. I remember BC, before children, I often thought negatively of parents who put those backpack leashes onto their kids but once I had mine, it only took losing Malik for 3 minutes to understand why they did.
One minute he was standing besides me and the next minute he was gone…he had followed a waitress into the kitchen as we were being walked to our table in a very large restaurant. Needless to say, I swallowed my heart that day as well. I almost bought a backpack leash the first time we traveled to Disney World, but chose instead to keep him in an umbrella stroller.
When the boys entered high school and started driving they each had a cell phone so I signed up for the ‘Family Locator”. Having this phone app with Verizon provided me with a sense of security. I could set the alerts to text me when they arrived at school and also when returned home in the afternoon.
I could track their phones when they were driving to the mall or to after school activities. Unfortunately, Malik learned how to deactivate the app on his phone and when they upgraded to the iPhone I lost the capability to track them. #TeamAndroid
However, with so much going on at college campuses, I sometimes wish that they each had an implanted tracking device so that I could just check in now and again to make sure they were where they were supposed to be.
I know in my heart that it would have been helpful to the parents of missing kids. Pet parents who chip their pets are happy when they find a lost or missing pup. I truly think that it is definitely something worth looking into when it comes to the safety of our kids or adults with disabilities.
I understand that there are security and safety measures to take into consideration, as well as plenty of pros and cons on this issue, but once again my question to you is “would you chip your kid?”
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Do you remember when eating alone in a restaurant was looked upon as being an awkward situation? Did you ever walk into a restaurant and feel sorry for the person who sat alone with only a book for companionship or perhaps looking straight down into their plate to avoid eye contact with others?
Well those days are long gone, now most people want to dine alone as a matter of fact, they eat heads down and not in prayer, it’s because nine times out of ten most are looking down communicating with their iPhone or Android, even if seated with others. It always cracks me up when I see a young couple out on a date and both of them are heads down texting or reading from their individual Smartphones.
I often wonder, how will they get to know each other – will they be using words in the future or will they digress back to being hunched over grunting a few words or symbols – lol
If I were a college student today, my major would definitely be in medicine specializing in chiropractic services!
Dining alone which once was viewed as an embarrassment is no longer taboo even at home as there are several reports that have shown that nearly half of all meals and snacks are eaten in solitude.
Marketers have taken note as well, which is why I love the commercials for Dixie “bemorehere” campaign. It places emphasis on family meal time being with friends and families, fully engaged in conversations, love and laughter and no technology!
Breakfast is the number one meal which is usually eaten alone, whether it’s at home, in the car or at one’s desk. I am guilty of this one especially during the work week. I do however, enjoy having coffee with hubby on the weekends. Family breakfast time or lack thereof, has really hurt demand for items such as orange juice, milk and eggs with more demand for microwavable and fast food meals.
Lunch is number two when it comes to eating solo. Lunch, when eaten at work is usually at one’s desk in a cubicle or office with little to no interaction with peers. Again, I am guilty of this, but I have made it a habit to have lunch with a fellow co-worker at least once per month, otherwise, we are both “brown bagging” it everyday.
Dinner, my all time favorite meal of the day is one that I do enjoy preparing and eating with the family. We may be guilty of watching television while doing so, but we are together watching the same show, eating where each can be seen and for me, this is the best part of the day.
How about you, are you a (Han) solo eater?
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Today I had my youngest son take his father for his bi-weekly chemo treatment at the Helen Graham Cancer Center. Why? Because he’s selfish…no not my husband…my son. It’s all about him…me…me…me and at the age of 19 he needs to understand that life is more about others and less about him.
Next week he will be leaving to start his Sophomore year at Bowie State University where I hope he decides to really buckle down and take his education seriously, unlike his first semester as a Freshman.
Who do I blame for his selfishness…my husband and I. He wasn’t born selfish but because of or in spite of the fact that our oldest, his brother is intellectually disabled perhaps we were too lenient…yes, we were too lenient in allowing him to “get away” with way too much as a child.
Unfortunately, there is no “How To Be A Great Parent” manual, otherwise it would be on the New York Times Best Seller list. And there definitely isn’t a manual on “How to raise two sons when the first born is disabled and you are the caregiver to an elderly grandparent, and oh by the way, your sister gets killed in a car accident and you’ve been married for less than 5 years”
The title to that manual would be, “For Better of Worser” which you could find an excerpt of it here.
So how did my son do? I don’t know…let me go ask him…be right back.
Okay, this is what he said, “I was a little nervous, but it was alright”. I guess having that iPhone growing out of his hand gave him a sense of security…whatever works.
I do hope that as the days and weeks go by, he will not only think of and care about his father’s health, but also that of others especially of those whose lives have been drastically changed by this selfish and uncaring disease! #ihatcancer
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College Students & Chores – Home for the Holidays
Our sons started doing chores around the house beginning about the age of 10. They cleaned their rooms, vacuumed, unloaded the dishwasher, did their own laundry and took out the trash. Later on they were each assigned to clean a bathroom every weekend.
Now they are both in college, one is away living on campus and the other is at home commuting to campus. Tayair is home, therefore, it is expected that he continues doing his weekly chores, even doing some that were previously assigned to his brother.
With the winter break, Malik is home for the holidays and my expectation is for him to pick up where he left off, doing his weekly chores. I am sure he is balking and probably speaking things “under his breath” but we all know that doesn’t mean diddly squat!
What do you think, should a college student returning home for the holidays be expected to do their previously assigned chores?
Stay Blessed ~ No Stress in 2014!
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