DeDivahDeals

Fashion and Fun after Fifty

Posts Tagged ‘relationships’

Can Blogging Break Up a Marriage

You do remember how innocently it all started out.  At first you were just writing a few hobby posts every week no big deal, a time filler just having fun.  Then you started getting followers who began to comment and so you started to take blogging a little more seriously.  Your audience was growing and so was your attention to them…your virtual family and friends.

blogging as a hobby

Perhaps after a few months you started to get the kids involved, asking them to pose and then asking hubby to take pictures of you with them in the store, the park or at the beach.  He reluctantly obliged but never understood why he nor the kids could eat anything that was on the platter before you took a picture trying to capture the perfect “Hero Shot”.  You set the table with fancy utensils, napkins, flowers and props for the blog post telling the family to dish out their meal from the pots sitting on the stove.

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www.travelblog.goaheadtours.com

Then you start doing sponsored posts, sometimes getting a few hundred dollars deposited into your Paypal account or getting free products that the kids could use and free tickets to an event or for a weekend getaway that hubby enjoyed.

You became obsessed with seeking bigger pay days signing up for even more sponsored posts.  You take pictures at sunrise, at sunset, in the rain and snow while on vacation and sometimes even at work.  Selfies are taken in department store dressing rooms and out on the floor, with every purchase becoming part of an OOTD post and using hashtags for even more recognition.  sunset-home-office-working-with-laptop-on-the-garden-picjumbo-com

You’re signing up at even more blogging community sites, submitting pitches for product reviews and adding more and more to your content calendar.  Your photography skills are improving and your posting dates outnumber doctor and dental appointments highlighted on the family’s calendar.  You become more selfish with your time especially if you also have a job outside of the home.

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You can’t go anywhere without taking pictures and you began to schedule and attend events only if they are  opportunities for a blog post including the kid’s school field trips.  Leaving your business cards everywhere, on the grocery store and church bulletin boards, on the counters at the local liquor stores and blogging becomes more of an obsession.

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https://www.verywell.com

After homework with the kids and dinner with the family, hubby heads to bed while you toil away on your laptop until the wee hours of the morning.  Your sex life begins to wane because hubby can’t keep his eyes open until all hours of the night as you edit and re-edit the perfect post.

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Every shopping experience turns into an opportunity to promote a new product or service and you are proud to admit that you are a blogger with a major following on all your social media platforms.  An expert in the field either as a Lifestyle Blogger, Foodie Blogger, Travel Blogger or Blogger Blogger.

You are constantly reading Social Media Examiner, other blogs, joining link parties, upping your video game and enjoying every moment of it, however, hubby has been put on the back burner and your relationship is strained.   woman-shopping

He doesn’t understand why you have to attend a blogging event every week and why you can’t just sit and watch television without your Laptop or Smartphone, constantly checking Facebook stats, Twitter and Google Analytics.   checking Facebook and Twitter on an iPad

You want him to understand and you need him to know that blogging has become part of your life and you want him to become a part of it as well…but will he ever?

Are you allowing your virtual life to overtake your real life…and will blogging break up your marriage?


Ready for Retirement | Avoid these Mistakes

Hello Friends and Happy Tuesday

 

retired couple Have you and your spouse started thinking about retirement?  Perhaps it’s several years off or maybe in the not-so-distant future.  What are your plans, will you be traveling or just relaxing on the back deck watching the sun rise while sipping your morning coffee?

Hubby will be retiring from the State of Delaware in July, but since I have at least 5 more years, he has to wait for me…and while he waits, he will be working no doubt about it.  Just because he’s retiring with a full pension doesn’t negate the fact that we’ll have a son in college and bills to pay.  

Retirement should be a dream come true filled with fun and excitement but if you make mistakes in not planning, that dream can quickly turn into a nightmare.  

According to the experts, there are 7 mistakes that couples should avoid if they want their retirement years to be truly golden.

  1. Couples never talked about what each of them expected retirement to be, i.e. personal interest or professional goals
  2. They haven’t planned for emergencies, i.e. illnesses, accidents and major home repairs
  3. Couples in their 2nd marriages didn’t plan for unique problems that come with blended families, ie. adult children needing financial assistance
  4. They didn’t do proper financial planning.  i.e. fail to calculate the amount of money needed in retirement, lifestyle and living costs changes
  5. Hospitalizations Couples didn’t consider the high costs of health care or long-term care
  6. Assuming that because you are married you can act for each other in business and health care decisions, consider getting a Power of Attorney
  7. Only one partner is handling financial matters – couples need to talk regularly about finances and both should actively participate

power of attorney

 

If you and your spouse haven’t sat down and talked about your retirement plans, the time to do so is now so you can make those golden years tarnish free!

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What are your thoughts?

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Go To Bed Angry – You Need The Rest

Hello Friends and Happy Thankful Thursday

If you’re married, I’m sure you’ve heard, “never go to bed angry”, but I disagree, sometimes I think you should go to bed angry – you need the rest. Don't go to bed angry

Yes, communication is important in a marriage but there are times when you don’t want to talk you just want to go to sleep. Who really wants to stay up late talking, arguing or trying to compromise, go to sleep, you need your rest, unless of course, it’s a life and death situation.

I met my husband at the age of 28, he was 32, we had both graduated from Delaware State College and each had our share of relationships.  We’d disagree on certain things because we were not raised by the same people in the same house, city or state, so having different upbringings made us think differently. Getting married and combining two lifestyles can be rough but that doesn’t mean we don’t love each other and can’t work together.

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In the beginning our biggest arguments occurred after the death of my sister; giving birth to our oldest, a 3 month preemie who weighed 2 1/2 lbs and then moving my grandmother into the home, all of this was before our 2nd Wedding Anniversary.

We would argue, or he would get moody, I call it male PMS, (MMS) and we wouldn’t talk to each other for days. We’d go to bed angry and I’d sleep like a baby because I needed the rest and having him stay on his side of the bed and me on mine made for uninterrupted sleep.

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plot his death There were many times that I wanted to kill him and I’d lay in bed thinking of ways to do it and how to hide the body without getting caught.  The fear of going to prison always stopped me, I knew my sons would rat me out once they found out that their daddy was buried in the backyard under the tomato plants!

Once hubby finishes his MMS cycle, after a couple of days of complete silence, I’ll walk by him and he’ll grab me for a kiss.  Later on that night it’s on and popping and I’m fine with that because am thankful for having those few nights of rejuvenating rest. on and poppin

Going to bed angry isn’t the end all, if you can’t agree or compromise just go to bed angry, you need the rest and hopefully in the morning you’ll feel better.

This works for us, but it may not for you, so if you rather stay up all night to talk and argue that’s fine, but for me, I go to bed angry because I need the rest!

BTW, we have been married for 23 years and for that I am thankful!

Have you ever gone to bed angry at your significant other?

I am also thankful for my family, you my bloggy friends and of course my faith, how about you, what are you thankful for this week?

Stay Blessed ~ No Stress in 2014!

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Forever In My Heart

Happy Birthday Gloria

Forever In My Heart

I know that I’m not the only one who has lost someone far too young.
  No matter how much time goes by, she will always be Unsung.

I often wonder how it would be if I could see her just one more time.
To see her face, feel her warm embrace or hear her laugh out loud.

God knows my heart breaks and just how long it takes to heal.

I love her more than anyone else no matter how it feels.

I don’t watch the videos to see her laugh and smile,

It’s much too much to handle and all I do is cry.

Today she would have been 50, but 29 was all she got, I miss and love you sweet Gloria, forever in my heart

Rest In Heaven, Gloria Cross, Jr.

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I love you lil sis