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Tips on How to Reduce the Stress of Caring for an Elder

Tips on How to Reduce the Stress of Caring for an Elder

I was the sole care giver for my grandmother for many years and although it was sometimes stressful, the rewards far out weighted them all!

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Caring for an elder can be rewarding and personally enriching, but it is also stressful. Using the tips in the following list can help you relieve your stress and improve quality of life for both you and your elder.

How to Reduce the Stress of Caring for an Elder

Accept limitations — your own and your elder’s.

Don’t dwell on small annoyances.

Search for opportunities to laugh, such as watching TV sitcoms.

Eat nutritious meals and exercise every day.

Look for ways to save time and energy, such as shopping from catalogs.

Find out about your elder’s medical conditions so that you know what to expect.

Use relaxation techniques like visualization, meditation, and listening to music.

Discover a new hobby or re-establish an old one.

Ask family and friends to relieve you of some of your time-consuming tasks.

Take advantage of professional respite care.

Join a support group.

Seek professional help if the stress seems overwhelming.

sketch of elderly woman

How to Get Your Elder to Accept Help

Getting an elderly person to accept that they need help when the abilities they’ve relied on throughout a long life are diminishing can be difficult for you and the elder you’re caring for. The tips in the following list provide guidelines for easing your elder into acceptance of a new role:

Approach gently and be understanding, but express your concerns firmly.

Don’t tell your elder there’s a problem; ask whether he thinks there may be a problem.

Before suggesting outside help, familiarize yourself with community services.

Offer help, but don’t take over.

Back off when you meet resistance and try again another day.

Have a respected doctor, clergy, trusted friend, or relative suggest help.

Explain how assistance increases independence.

Never introduce a professional caregiver as someone who “will take care of you.”

Ask your elder’s opinion about how best to handle the situation.

Make sure that your elder is well rested and well fed before presenting plans for help.

When your elder’s perceptions of his or abilities don’t match your perceptions, resist the urge to contradict.

Offer assistance in an off-handed, humorous, and casual manner.

man meditating in the park

How to Help an Elder Get the Most out of Doctor Appointments

Often, part of caring for an elder includes accompanying them to medical appointments. To make the most of these healthcare sessions, encourage your elder to use the following tips to promote a healthcare partnership with his or her doctors:

Take along a notepad or tape recorder to capture the doctor’s comments and instructions.

Remember to wear your hearing aid and eyeglasses.

Don’t be shy about asking the doctor to slow down or speak up.

Take someone with you to serve as an extra set of ears, take notes, and advocate for your well-being.

Put your prescription medicines, over-the-counter drugs, vitamins, and herbal remedies in a bag and bring them with you (or take a written list).

Take along a one-page concise list of questions and concerns, organized in order of importance (with a copy for the doctor).

Talk openly about your diet, alcohol consumption, and smoking habits, as well as major life changes (such as moving in with children or losing a loved one).

Ask the doctor to explain anything you don’t understand in plain English.

woman with dementia

Ground Rules for a Family Meeting about Eldercare

If your family is faced with getting or continuing care for an elderly loved one, a family meeting can be productive in airing issues and concerns and brainstorming solutions. Tips on running a fruitful family conference include those in the following list:

Don’t speak for others by saying “we think” or “my family thinks.”

Take responsibility for your own opinion or viewpoint by saying, “I think,” “I believe,” “I understand,” and so on.

Don’t interrupt anyone.

Encourage everyone (from the youngest to the oldest, from the shyest to the boldest) to express his or her opinion.

Choose a facilitator (for example, the oldest, most respected person).

Encourage family members to share their feelings by accepting all sentiments.

Don’t allow blaming and criticizing.

Stop verbal attacks dead in their tracks.

 

Have you or are you now caring for an elderly relative?

Shared from: From Eldercare For Dummies by Rachelle Zukerman

 


A Guide to Helping Aging Parents

A Guide to Helping Aging Parents

Author: Andy Andersen

Knowing how to help aging parents is tough for everyone. It can be an unexpectedly difficult topic to address for all parties involved because it usually entails painful emotions that are difficult to process. If this is an experience you are going through, know that you are not alone and that it’s ok to feel what you’re feeling.

Here are some simple tips that will help you get through this difficult time and find your aging parents the right care:

Recognize the signs.

The first step in helping your aging parent is recognizing the signs that they need additional or professional elderly care. One adult child reported that it took his aging father driving his car through the back wall of his garage to realize he needed assisted living. But there are many simple signs that can let you know your parent needs help before anything that drastic happens:

Does your parent tend to wander, even in the short time it may take you to go to the bathroom, or step into the other room for a moment? They might be experiencing dementia.

Do they display aggravated behavior later in the day? This is another sign that they might be experiencing dementia.

Is their current home becoming a less safe place for them? If so, they probably need the attention that you can’t give them on your own.

Senior woman on wheelchair taking her husband's hand.

Senior woman on wheelchair taking her husband’s hand.

Have an open conversation.

Broaching the subject of assisted living, or any kind of elderly health care for that matter, can be incredibly difficult for both parents and adult children. It can be especially challenging when a parent is refusing help. That’s why it’s best to recognize the early signs and approach the conversation before they need urgent help. It might also be necessary to enlist the help of others, in hopes that the more loving support they have, the more likely your parent will change their mind about getting help. If all else fails, know that you can call social services if your parent is of serious danger to themselves or others.

That all being said, remember that your parent is much more likely to agree to receiving elderly care if you have an honest, upfront, and open conversation with them about it. Communicate love and concern as you address this subject and discuss options. Let them know that you are looking out for their best interest and listen to their concerns as well. You may be surprised at how open they are to getting the help they need.

Multi-Generation Family Enjoying Walk In Beautiful Countryside

Multi-Generation Family Enjoying Walk In Beautiful Countryside

Scope out your options

It’s important to take the time and effort necessary to research your care options before deciding on any particular plan. If you’re concerned about your budget, remember: you’re looking for the right help, not necessarily the most expensive. In any therapy situation, it’s important to find the place where the patient will receive the individual, personalized care that works best for their condition. It’s easy to be quickly enamored by a care center or program that appears to be the most expensive, has the most state-of-the-art equipment, the newest looking facilities, etc. But the most expensive place isn’t always the right one; especially for the elderly.

If your parent is going to receive home care, there are plenty of options beyond simple housekeeping and daily check ups. Social work, chaplain assistance, and a wide variety of therapies (including physical, occupational, speech, and music) are just a few of the home care options available today. Click here for an idea of what kind of home care treatments are available to you and your parent.

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people together icons

Be your parent’s advocate

Empathy is key in establishing a healthy relationship between you and your parent at this stage of your lives. Empathize with your parents. Put yourself in their shoes and be their advocate with the rest of the world. Any nurse will tell you that it’s your responsibility to be your loved one’s advocate in any medical situation. Do your part to see that your parent’s needs are being met. No matter what the situation, continue to spend time with them. The more love and attention elderly parents have from their family members, the more likely they are to live a rewarding elderly life.

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